Doorways
This was written for this week’s One Single Impression prompt #18, “doorway”. I delved into the Bible for inspiration for this pantoum, “Doorways”. This is also for this week’s Writer’s Island Matinee Muse prompt, “Avenge”. Enjoy.
-Nicole
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Where is the blood?
My secret sword screams
for Egyptian throats to slit -
doorways betray their keepers.
My secret sword screams
to foment a fatal final plague.
Doorways betray their keepers;
from them I exact my answers.
To foment a fatal final plague
I must read these wordless doorposts;
from them I exact my answers
to a holy, macabre question.
I must read these wordless doorposts.
My secret sword swears an oath
to a holy, macabre question;
I must search this endless, hot night.
My secret sword swears an oath -
for Egyptian throats to slit
I must search this endless, hot night:
where is the blood?
Written 6/29/08
© 2008 Nicole Nicholson. All Rights Reserved.
I enjoyed the story and the rhythm of the stanzas. It read like a chant.
I agree – the story is great, the rhythm is very fine – sounds almost prayerful.
Thank you, tumblewords and Sandy.
-Nicole
I liked the rhythm and story too, but I sure wouldn’t want to be the person the narrator is after!
Thank you.
Wonderful. As I said in a previous comment to one of yours, I’m amazed at poets who work in intricate forms like pantoums. In this case, the form’s rhythms and repeated lines are especially effective in telling the story. A chant, indeed! A battle chant.
Edward and Patricia:
Thanks for stopping by! I thought the pantoum would be the best for this because of how haunting the story is and how macabre the task at hand. I glad I was not an Egyptian when Moses was around, either. I am honored by your compliments.
-Nicole
Well written. I can feel the horror! A dark night for all. I think I’ll just stay indoors tonight!
Powerful, you’ve struck the ancient voice perfectly,Nicole, delve inside
the heads of these men.
Very nice Passover Pantoum. I enjoyed how the repetition built up the suspense.
Thank you, Cynthia, Pam, and Kathie.
-Nicole
i agree this flows so well in telling the story….
Remarkable. I love the “doorways betray their keepers” repetitive line. It’s also a wonderfully intense reflection on what Passover really was… I think it’s so easy for us to gloss over the intense truths of familiar words and stories without connect to their depth. Very impressive. As I said last week – I don’t think I’d have the skill or patience to work in such a complex form, but you do it with great skill.
This is haunting to me. Such a scary thought that continues though the tribes change.
Thank you, all. That is true – I think we remember all these stories and don’t think of the emotions behind them and the people inside of them. Oddly enough, the film “Dogma” gave me the inspiration of this poem (Matt Damon plays Loki, who was the Angel of Death until he stepped down). Watching the film in a sense, inspired me to try to get inside the Angel’s head as he’s about to do his dreaded job.
-Nicole