This was a sedoka written for Read Write Poem Prompt #35: “fun in the sun” (NOT!). Here is my take. Enjoy.
-Nicole
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released from the jaws
of school, time was now my own
to sculpt summer freedom with
twenty years later
loneliness wraps around me
in emptied, silent school halls
Written 7/11/08
© 2008 Nicole Nicholson. All Rights Reserved.
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I prefer my freedom during summer.
fitting–well captured in these lines
Interesting take. At first you sound merely liberated, but then it becomes clear that you are still held “captive” by memory, or perhaps were escaping more than just the humdrum of high school. Love the photo, too.
Thanks, everyone.
-Nicole
A school is a lonely place without kids! They drive me nuts all year and I can’t wait for summer, but, then, if I go in to do some prep work, the halls just echo with emtiness.
the two images of the narrator at different points in her life stand powerfully together here. great juxtaposition! a turning inside out or sorts. i can see her standing now in the middle of that poem, jumping into each world on either side of the line. cool!
As I learned from your site, the sedoka’s stanzas address a subject from different points of view, which you do perfectly here. You couldn’t have found a better photo to go with this poem.
Yeah, this leaps forward in time like a bouncing ball – full of energy at first then it just rolls away. Nicely done!
Thank you, everyone! It’s odd – during the school year, everyone barges into my office and I long for peace and quiet. Now I almost wish the kids were back!
I thought the sedoka would be the perfect way to pull this off. I actually have to thank Poefusion for introducing me to this form (check out http://poefusion.blogspot.com/2008/07/sedoka.html for more info).
-Nicole
I like the juxtapositions in this, nicely done
raven nicole, this is another excellent form… you have captured a timeless sense of passing.. makes me think of the song “both sides now”… judy collins song…
Thank you, piece of pie and Crafty Green Poet…and that is basically to me the essential purpose of a sedoka…two sides of the same thing.
-Nicole