Black
Nanda by Rick Moss
This was written for two prompts, actually: Read Write Poem #36 (“Ekphrastic Extravaganza”) and Totally Optional Prompts (“Ghazal”). The painting is “Nanda” by Rick Mobbs and is from his blog “Mine Enemy Grows Older”. Enjoy.
-Nicole
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Wordless thin lips form a short line on a sunken face -
a folded wire woman draped in yards of soft black.
The contrast between hijab and skin gives my eye pause;
were it not for her pale skin, she would fade to black.
In stillness, only her eyes move as camera lenses
focusing beyond her corner of muted earth-brown and black.
I cannot travel behind the eyes or the cloth;
both halt my curious journey with shields of unyielding black.
“Nicole, you have your secrets. I have mine”, she declares -
I am left to speculate of the world behind the black.
Written 7/17/08
© 2008 Nicole Nicholson. All Rights Reserved.
You’ve cleverly woven the two prompts together and even managed to get your name into the final couplet, well done.
Haunting piece.
I’m also impressed that you can get your name into the last couplet, that’s the one rule I usually break in a ghazal because it can sound forced but you’ve done it really naturally.
Thank you, everyone! It was a struggle to do the last couplet, to figure out how to honor the original form by getting my name in it…this is the second ghazal I’ve written, and I feel this one turned out better.
-Nicole
The roaming eyes of a picture often make me wonder what they actually see
stan ski:
I agree. Sometimes I think the eyes might move if you stare at a painting long enough.
-Nicole
I agree with Crafty Green Poet about your use of the form — excellent. And you really get at that sense of mystery in this painting.
Great! How do you like the ghazal? A deceptively intricate form. You capture the air of mystery in the dark.
I love this poem. My favorite stanza: “I cannot travel behind the eyes or the cloth;
both halt my curious journey with shields of unyielding black.” It’s so true, we can only guess and often wrongly what is going on behind others’ eyes.
i’m not familiar with the form; this poem works regardless, esp the last tow lines which are haunting
I love that this picture turned into a poem about a woman in a hijab. What a great interpretations! Lovely use of the form, as well.
Thank you, everyone! I think I like the ghazal, although they have been a bit of a struggle to write.
I am genuinely honored that you like this one so much.
The funny thing is, she reminds me of some photos I was shown by a family member who works as medical staff in Afghanistan. There was one woman in particular who looked almost like Nanda in this painting…I remembered that photo and saw the woman, her gaunt face, and her black hijab all over again.
-Nicole
I definately see her eyes as the focusing camera lenses. You tell the story of this painting so well. Excellent Ghazal.
Thank you, Jenn.
-Nicole