This was actually written a few weeks ago, but I’m posting it for the ghazal prompt on Totally Optional Prompts. Enjoy.
-Nicole
————————————-
The milquetoast father, polite and serene
never dared to raise his voice or holler.
His unheard child became a ghost unseen -
she never dared to stand and holler.
Unvoiced words stuck in her throat as regret,
lodged forever as a decaying, unheard holler.
Through a kiss, I reached in and pulled the words out –
then she never ceased to stand and holler.
Silence once slit my throat and stole the sound
and from my lips came forth no song or holler.
She searched my lips for my missing honey song,
but turned and walked when she heard no holler.
Watching her leave, I feared that I had lost the words to call her;
sorrow rose up in my throat, loud and full like a field holler.
It rushed up, a river pushing my silent mouth open –
“I love you!” poured forth when I stood and hollered.
She stopped, then turned and walked back to me;
now our enjoined hands serve as our in tandem holler.
Written 6/24/08
© 2008 Nicole Nicholson. All Rights Reserved.
To say what you mean, what is in your heart– why is this a challenge? But we can riddle, and we can dance…
It’s not only about the experience, it think. It’s about naming it. Speaking clearly. In a holler even. I am working on my lung capacity…
Thanks
Great work again. I really liked the first four couplets (indeed they have such a strong message that they could stand alone). But I was a bit thrown by the change to speaking about the narrator’s silence, because I didn’t understand where this came from – was it a result of her now going to the other extreme and speaking too much, or something else entirely?
What a brave choice for a refrain, works though. I love the happy ending!
Thank you everyone….
Lirone – you could say that this poem details the anatomy of a relationship. We grow silent for many reasons: fear, anger, complacency (which is what I felt when I wrote that fifth couplet). In essence, what happens when you stop communicating?
-Nicole
I like the way you moved through the stages in this piece. Nice work.
Yeah, nice one Nicole, you could holler this from the rooftops!
I would never have thought to use a word like holler as the radif in a ghazal but you’ve made it work really well
I really like your poetry. You teach me so much.
I really thought this piece was amazing…how we are influenced by our parents but when push comes to shove, we have to exert our individuality, as adults.
Thank you, everyone!
Bev: I am honored by your compliments – I am going to blush…I never thought I was actually teaching anybody. I’m just trying to put my work and truth out here…but thank you again.
Crafty: the idea for using “holler” as a rediff was influenced from the Read Write Poem prompt from a couple of weeks ago (word limiting – e.g. Shuffle Words). I’d looked at the lyrics to R.E.M.’s “Fables of the Reconstruction” multiple times to see what jumped out, and the phrase “stand and holler” from the song “Kohoutek” kept jumping out at me, but I didn’t want to use it in the poem I wrote for that prompt…so I pulled the “holler” idea out and wrote this ghazal using it as the rediff.
Thanks, everyone, for stopping by! Your guys’ interested and compliments help me keep going.
-Nicole
amazing nicole… from milktoast father, influences we could not possible imagine the affect… family dynamics… i like that you heard yr voice…hollaring, awesome… it is a pleasure to read the different ghazals throughout the prompt…
Thank you, piece of pie.
-Nicole