Vision

I am taking notes
at a fantastic rock-n-roll concert
going on in my head

I always take notes
when the visions come
projectors singing in my head
throw up the screen
and let the film play itself onto it
in endless maddening loops –

freeze frame, focus in on an image
and magnify until the colors rain
into my hands
until voltage notes rain
into my hands
blue and black
royal and midnight

and now, the ceremony has begun
the hills embrace the throng like arms
they gather amidst the green

while the moon assents to the sounds below her
with her own pale light
the night and the people
gather together in thickness
beat like a pulse
hands reach up, trying to
grab the passing purple magic

bodies become pinwheels
warp space and time around them
as they dance an old dervish pattern
while the music spins them on invisible axes
all together now give up the ghost
release wine into air around them and
get drunk on the ecstasy dripping down
in the drenched air

rapt and nearly carried beyond
in my own delirium
I grab the words
I grab the colors
and attempt to translate
this music is a pure expression of joy
another night has ended
with a vision in my hands

Written 7/7 and 7/12/11
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Greetings! I haven’t written any poems in a while but I was intrigued by the latest We Write Poems Prompt. Viv suggested this week that we try to write a poem in someone else’s voice…in someone else’s shoes. It could be a person, an animal, an inanimate object…anything you like, as long as you leave your own voice at the door.

I’ve done persona poems a number of times, but in many cases I’ve always felt as if each one was still my own words. This time I tried my damnedest to leave my own voice at the door. It was tricky, especially considering my chosen subject — I revisited Jim Morrison this week, using two of his quotes and jumping off of them to write a poem (“I was taking notes at a fantastic rock-n-roll concert in my head” and “music is the pure expression of joy”). Comments are more than welcome — please tell me how you think I did. And I hope you enjoyed the poem.

-Nicole
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About ravenswingpoetry

I am a 38 year old writer from Columbus, OH and the creator of Raven's Wing Poetry. I am a poet, seeker, fellow traveler, and autistic.
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7 Responses to Vision

  1. b_y says:

    I like it, Nicole. It still has your dense images, which I think is all to the good.

  2. Oh, I like this very much – I think it works quite well! Frenetic pace, incredible imagery. Thank you for sharing it with us! 🙂

  3. Mr. Walker says:

    Nicole, I like the idea of trying to capture images that are going on in your head – and music is notoriously tough. I like “until voltage notes rain / into my hands” – putting that electricity into words.

    Richard

  4. The imagery in this is strong, Nicole. I especially like this part;

    “bodies become pinwheels
    warp space and time around them
    as they dance an old dervish pattern
    while the music spins them on invisible axes”

    Well done as always,
    Pamela

  5. vivinfrance says:

    Nicole, you do brilliantly what I find so difficult: translate images into words. Your poem becomes the music, rather than simply describing it.

  6. Irene says:

    Welcome back Nicole! I think this approximates the pure form of music well. Interesting that you took the POV of a rock musician, Jim Morrison no less. The quote in the first stanza is a very arresting opener. I like

    until voltage notes rain
    into my hands
    blue and black
    royal and midnight

  7. Tilly Bud says:

    How lovely to see music in poetry in this way.

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